2020 Vincent Price Blog-a-Thon: Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (1965)

Vincent Price.

We all know that he can scare the heck out of us. We all know that as a dramatic actor, he surpasses many. But in a broad farce? Well...yes!

And therein lies the 1965 film, "Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine," with Vincent Price in the lead role of Dr. Goldfoot, evil genius and master criminal.

The film opens following a lovely young lady, Diane, walking through the streets of San Francisco. She is hit by a car and shot in a bank robbery, all with no effect. She meets cheapskate secret agent, Craig Gamble, played by Frankie Avalon. He is one of the more inept agents in a secret service run by his uncle, played by character actor, Fred Clark, who even demotes him from Agent 00-1/2 to Agent 00-1/4. Diane drinks a glass of milk from the table, which spouts out the bullet holes. Of course, Gamble is smitten. And why not? She is beautiful, speaks with a French accent and can double as a fountain.

Thus begins a bevy of sight gags, sarcastic patter, and "Monkees" type sound effects that makes this movie fun to watch and everyone's performance a laugh riot.

The Bikini Machine creates Goldfoot's army, made up of beautiful golden bikini clad robot women. Diane is #11 of twelve, and one of his best agents. Dr. Goldfoot's plan is to get his agents to marry rich men throughout the world and send all their riches to him. If the man is already married, the good Doctor instructs the robot to give the wife a pair of opera glasses that injects poison into their eyes. Actually, they resemble a smaller version of the binoculars in "The Horrors of the Black Museum", made six years earlier.

Diane's target is Todd Armstrong, played by Dwayne Hickman. Todd is rich and young. He owns stocks and real estate. He is a perfect victim for Dr. Goldfoot and his sidekick, Igor, who Goldfoot brought back to life. Igor, played by Jack Mullaney, is as inept as Agent Gamble, and is constantly being berated by Goldfoot. Gamble spends a good deal of the film trying to protect Armstrong from Goldfoot and keep him from signing a Power of Attorney, turning his entire fortune over to Diane.

Armstrong and Gamble finally track down Dr. Goldfoot's lair, where the good Doctor has other means to coerce a signature out of the rich man. This includes a fully-equipped dungeon with an iron maiden and a pendulum.

The film devolves into a huge chase through the streets of San Francisco, that contains a dizzying run down Lombard Street, said to be the World's Most Crooked Street. There are also crashes, explosions and wide range of vehicles, including a street car that runs off its tracks. It ends with Dr. Goldfoot and Igor going over a cliff onto a beach, then hit by missiles from a Navy ship practicing off the coast. Is Dr. Goldfoot dead? Would the fact of a sequel called "Dr. Goldfoot and his Girl Bombs" be a good indicator?

Overall, the film is a silly, fun romp that should be enjoyed for the camp that it is. Price is, as always, an excellent villain, but the added sarcasm gives give him a chance to show a flair for comedy that was more over-the-top than in films like "The Raven" and "A Comedy of Terrors." It would also carry through to some of the tongue-in-cheek humor found in the Dr. Phibes series and "Theater of Blood."

The film is also a veritable game of Trivial Pursuits:

The opening and closing credits contain claymation by Art Clokey, creator of Gumby.

The opening and closing song is performed by The Supremes. You can hear Diana Ross if you listen well.

With many of the robots appearing in bikinis, you'd think it was a Beach Movie, for which Frankie Avalon was well known.

Dwayne Hickman is best known for his TV series role of Dobie Gillis (1959-63).

During a threatening tour of Dr. Goldfoot's dungeon, a woman in stocks has her head lifted to reveal Annette Funicello, Avalon's co-star in most of the Beach Movies.

A door is opened in the same dungeon to reveal a man on a motorcycle, chained up, who happens to be Harvey Lembeck, portrayer of Eric von Zipper, villain in most of the Frankie & Annette Beach Movies.

Somewhere in the film is a cameo by teen idol, Fabian. I didn't find him, but then I've never spotted George Harrison in "Life of Brian", so, there you are. Fabian stars in the sequel.

The film includes a "Pit and the Pendulum" scene, with Price wearing the same robe that he wore in the 1961 film.

The screenplay is written by Elwood Ullman, who penned many of the Three Stooges shorts of the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s, along with their features of the 1960s. This adds to the slapstick nature of the film and Price acting like Moe Howard on a number of occasions.

Many of the cast and the writers would work together in "The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini" in 1966, along with Boris Karloff and Basil Rathbone.

It can be viewed for free on Daily Motion. Special thanks to IMDb for help with fact checking.

If you enjoyed this article, there are plenty more to be found at the 2020 Vincent Price Blog-a-thon or at the 2020 Vincent Price Blog-a-thon. If you didn't like this article, go there anyway and you'll likely find a better one!!